


Still

by okgarlic



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Best Friends, Boyfriends, Break Up, High School, M/M, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-17
Updated: 2019-07-17
Packaged: 2020-06-30 07:08:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19848100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/okgarlic/pseuds/okgarlic
Summary: Mark can’t help but steal glances from the familiar corner of their classroom. He scolds himself for keeping the habit of turning his head towards Donghyuck’s seat, while knowing full well that he will still be met with nothing. His excuse? The sunlight shines brighter in that direction.





	Still

_So that’s what actually happens._ Things get wrapped around in a soft, white vignette. Eyes are closed, but somehow things seem to sparkle like glitters are out in the wind. Isn’t this what people see in a movie montage? Or at least that’s what Mark thinks.

“Your lips feel like roses,” he mutters under his breath.

He continues to plant soft kisses on Donghyuck’s face, on his nose, caresses his cheeks with his own, all without an inkling of how his body is gasping for air.

“Mark hyung, breathe,” Donghyuck quips in a flushed smile.

“I can’t get enough of you,” Mark shrugs him off as he cups Donghyuck’s face with his hands, taking his kisses up a notch as he slowly lets his hunger kick in. Next thing he knows, he has left his mark on Donghyuck’s neck.

“Hyung, no–wait!”

“What?”

“I have to go home in a few minutes. Come on.”

“And your point?”

Donghyuck shuffled in his seat, escaping from his boyfriend’s arms and hurried to the fridge to get some ice.

“Hyuck—“

“I’m sorry, hyung. Please don’t get me wrong. I’m… just not used to it yet.”

Mark wanted to say it’s okay. Hiding was once their ordinary, but now that they don’t need to, it feels more suffocating. But he understands.

“No, I’m sorry. We’re both new to this. I’m sorry.”

He wanted to wrap Donghyuck in a hug. He was about to, and calls to him. He was talking, but suddenly his eyes are closed. Donghyuck is gone.

The sun is more blinding in the summer sky, and it’s forcing Mark’s eyes open. He doesn’t allow it.

The only sunshine that he could allow to wake him up is Donghyuck—the love of his life, and the pain he still shelters in his heart.

_Mark can’t help but steal glances from the familiar corner of their classroom._ He scolds himself for keeping the habit of turning his head towards Donghyuck’s seat, while knowing full well that he will still be met with nothing. His excuse? The sunlight shines brighter in that direction. Not for anything, of course. He says that the light hits the blackboard perfectly, and he sometimes doesn’t need his glasses to see what’s written there anymore. Mark is asking himself to snap out of it, when a shrill voice did the trick.

“Mr. Lee?”

“Y-yes ma’am!” Mark responds with his throat coming out of his mouth.

“Would you want me to stay by that window so you’d hear me better?” Miss Kwon’s voice is firmer now that he has her attention.

As he perms his eyes on their professor, he notices his favorite smile arch slightly on Donghyuck’s face. He puts his faith on his peripheral vision, and claims that it was because of him.

And that is all that he needed today.

However, the time moving so slow and so fast at the same time. Doesn’t it allow people to adjust at their own pace? How could it be so inconsiderate for not waiting on people who still needs to cope? What is it in a hurry for? Pain needs time. And time needs to fucking wait up.

Mark doesn’t want it to be a year already. It’s unfair for them to break up just a month after coming out, while they waited for years to actually be free like everybody else. This time is supposed to be their golden time. He was waiting for their honeymoon phase to take place once again—holding hands and giving each other soft whispers, good night kisses and pillow talks. He was waiting for their best time to unfold again in front of them, but only as loud as they were once hushed. Out on the streets, and not just beneath the sheets.

Once upon a time they were proud and happy. But he didn’t realize their long-awaited freedom meant the opposite of all the things they have been dreaming of. With that freedom, he is more broken and alone, his best friend and his person a million heartstrings away. Maybe if he didn’t pray for this, he would still be happy?

Now is not the time. He has track today, and that’s supposed to be on top of his priority. As he waits for his class to end, he cements his face towards the podium, making sure Miss Kwon pays attention to him paying attention—except that he isn’t. Try as he may, Mark’s mind wanders off different things. He has developed a knack in pretending to care about the world while absolutely living in his own head. It helps, especially after getting a biting remark from the most churlish professor in campus and your ex-boyfriend laughing because of it.

The bell rings and off he goes. More than being a school athlete, Mark resolves training as his safe space. This is the only time he could be free to heave a mournful sigh, belt out an exhale, and be as aggressive as he wants to be and it wouldn’t mean a thing. It’s just track practice. He can play his charade easier. The field, as it registers to Mark, is the only thing that holds everything in place. If it weren’t for the grit, sweat and the fiery lungs after a drill, his mind would have sprinted to the past and thinking about Donghyuck. “This is an efficient distraction. I’m cool,” he thinks.

As soon as he steps out of the locker area, his eyes met the bottom row of the bleachers, and Donghyuck is sitting on it.

Why.

In the vast area of the field, why does Donghyuck have to be in the spot where he could easily see him—glance at him, rather?

Today isn’t the day he will acknowledge that his ex-boyfriend is there to watch him. Agility conditioning and form maintenance are easy. But this? He has to work extra hard and train himself not to indulge in his own wishful thinking. He’s an athlete, and athletes are good at training. He can’t not do this. A bit more practice and conditioning, then he’s good to go.

He walks towards the center of the field, keeping a peripheral vision of the audience. It’s hot. Why is he here. But whatever, it’s practice. There’s a drill.

After a brief huddle, Mark and his teammates are in formation. His eyes fixed on the track, he almost mutters to himself for composure but instead he clenches his teeth. For focus.

“On your marks… Set…”

The gun was shot but Mark didn’t feel his feet’s weight follow the sound. Instead he felt his soul leave his body as a lanky black-haired guy came to sit next to Donghyuck on the bleachers. Donghyuck is smiling from ear to ear, and Mark almost couldn’t stop himself from running–not on track, but towards the guy who (isn’t him) just planted a gummy smile on his ex-boyfriend’s face.

Then in a split second everything was pitch black.

It was quiet. But only for a split second. Mark’s ears can only absorb muffled sounds. His eyes are wide shut. His brain suddenly decides sunlight is pain.

Coach Lee yelped under a panicked, yet composed call, “Everybody, away from the kid,”

As soon as the coach gets better view of Mark, he becomes frantic, which was enough for the commotion to dissipate.

“Jesus, Mark Lee. What have you done—everyone, I said back off!”

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first fic ever so i am gonna try my best not to disappoint aaaaaaa (●´ω｀●)


End file.
